Rejection

“How are you with rejection?” That might be the question of 2025.

I started out this year being rejected and ended the year with rejection. First one being of the heart and the second one the potential foundation for a part of my being to remain in comfort.

The modeling world is filled with constant rejection from all corners. For multiple reasons including, looks, height or a combination of both. After a while this becomes tiresome, if not more regular than for most individuals.

Trying to find a “normal” job that doesn’t require me to hunt or constant compare myself to others, I still find myself doing those things. Employers will lie to your face what they’re looking for and proceed onto another candidates without any actual feedback.

Wasting my time with rejection rather than the actual rejecting, kind of like a man who doesn’t really know what he wants. And I’m supposed to live my life constantly selling myself when people will judge off of face-value anyway and not what I can actually do.

Being a model is much easier than actually being in the workplace. They tell you to your face, or you know off-rip you weren’t picked. Modeling has taught me to just move on and keep going, that there will be accomplishments. But I have more success with showing face rather than actual labor.

But just waiting for the chance someone will give me to prove myself and actually pay me a living wage. I am sick and tired of waiting.

They want to see experience and they ask for entry-level. They want experts, but who is willing to bring on apprentices?

Everyone in Florida wants to pay chump change and wants you to penny-pinch while people ride by you in fast cars and live in high rises. My world is fast-changing around me and it feels like I’m not fast enough or I’m ill-prepared for the things I’ve been shoved into.

This is has me side-eying the choices in my life as I picked writing over all else. I chose my passion to study and now I feel the suffering of an artist.

To live in my truth has been the biggest rejection. To continue to value art and sciences, with the world storming with misinformation at every angle. With the words of the poets being lost to language models that need or every soul and being to continue on. Our lessons being lost to art because those can’t understand.